Neuro-Linguistic Programming
- it's not what you think!

3. How much pleasure can you stand?

Along with feeling better about oneself, the concept of pleasure was introduced into the course. We were asked to go inside ourselves and find memories during which we felt intense pleasure. Along with this we recalled memories of decisions made in the past, which made us, feel good. This was powerful stuff for me, because I always considered myself a poor decision maker. Coming to the realization that in the past on many occasions I had not only been a "decision-maker", but a "happy decision-maker" was a revelation. There came the realization that we are all doing the best we can at all times with the resources we have at our disposal. Finding not only positive but also truly happy decision-making experiences provided me with a real sense of being a successful decision-maker. Thus the emphasis was strongly on finding positive resources inside ourselves, which we could call upon in time of need.

Whenever we associated with past experiences we were given great freedom of choice as to how we wanted to do it. We were advised to associate each image with one feeling at a time so as not to become confused, we moved images around trying them out in different places, making them smaller and smaller or larger and larger as the case required. We could get rid of dissimilating past experiences by using a mental slingshot or a Frisbee. We could always say what we wanted more of. We talked to ourselves using our voices in amusing ways. What if you move your voice so that you talk from your shoulder, or your elbow, or even the tip of your finger? We could create future fantasy situations and then associate or dies-associate ourselves from the fantasy to see how it would be if the fantasy was the reality. This was a "cool" way of finding out what we wanted or...didn't want. It was a way of "floating our metaphoric boat" to see what would happen. It was like going to the movies to see the previews of coming attractions. Only we could control how we wanted it to be: bigger, brighter, bolder. I, a confirmed kinesthetic who always said I couldn't "see pictures" was dazzled by what I was now able to see.

One of the mini-projects we worked on during the course was to make a blueprint of ourselves now and how we would like to be. This is like thinking of where we are now and where we would like to be. The pattern was very much the here...there model. Before we started, Richard told us, "If it's in your head you can do something with it." We started by thinking of the resources we had to enable us to get from the here to the there. Mine are motivation, a sense of excitement and anticipation for the unknown, my inner critic who had now become my cheerleader telling me that I could do anything I really wanted to, and a sense of unconditional love and unconscious trust in people. It came home to me how important it is to know who you want to be and where you want to be. As soon as I became aware of this it's amazing how easy it was to take the first step or to recognize the signposts along the way that would get me there in the end. Also there was a sense of not being impatient with the time it would take me.

One thing I feel I must say at this point is that this was not a "recipe" type course. We were asked only to experiment, to find out what would work for each of us. There were no rules or dos and don'ts. This made the course seem unstructured at the time. I was learning but on a sub-conscious level and so I didn't know what I was learning. I was changing, doing things differently and what I could see around me were people acquiring a large dose of self-confidence, sometimes maybe too much. But still largely, hugely positive. After the course ended, I remember clearly colleagues asking me, "But what did you learn? What could you show me?" The only honest answer was NOTHING. And hey you know what? That didn't bother me one bit.

I knew it was there inside of me and it was working, but I couldn't say how. Even my notes, which are in the form of little mind maps, are only now making sense to me. For me that is what real learning should be. Unconscious. The proof of the understanding of what has been learned is in how you can apply it in your own way to enhance the quality of your life. That is what happened to me. It is only now that I can reflect on how it happened.

Surely, Richard teaches through stories, which send messages or suggestions to the sub-conscious. This is the same way Milton Erickson was able to work with his patients. Shortly after completing the course with Richard Bandler, I discovered, My Voice Will Go With You - The Teaching Tales of Milton Erickson, edited by Sidney Rosen (W.W. Norton and Company 1982). While reading it, I could understand exactly where Richard was coming from; like Erickson, he often weaves his own experiences as well as those of his family and friends into his stories. Except that these are much more then just stories. In fact he keeps our conscious mind busy or if you like entertained with his stories, while on the sub-conscious level he is imparting valuable information. And he is the master at doing this, because he is totally congruent.